When Life Happens

Growing up, I had those little life plans that kept me company. Those dreams were as varied as my interests. Some were as petty as walking along the Great Wall of China, seeing the South of France, owning a small farm in a province or as huge as living in a foreign country for a year or having an organization that would help save abused children around the world

I had a lot of dreams when I was younger. First, I dreamt of becoming a doctor, an aid worker and then a journalist. As a student, I represented my school in writing contests. Sometimes I earned a place, sometimes none at all but I was always urged to at least try. It was then when I molded dreams of becoming a writer, a newspaper reporter. I dreamt of working for a mainstream newspaper. I wanted to write, write and write. I wanted to write a book someday.

And then I also dreamt of being part of theater, of acting in a play. I also dreamt of painting a mural.

When I traveled to Japan as an exchange student, I fell in love with travel. I dreamt of seeing the world, of knowing other cultures of just feeling the universe around me. I dreamt of drinking wine from a café in Paris or to travel in the countryside of France and see stretches and stretches of vineyards. I dreamt of working in refugee camps, here or abroad.

I dreamt of earning an M.A. after my bachelor’s degree.

I dreamt of having a nice and simple house with a small garden. I dreamt of bringing my parents to a foreign country when they are old. I dreamt of the chance to take care of them when they are old, to ensure that they are okay.

At one point, I dreamt of a solitary life with no children or a life partner to share it with. It was a selfish, undomesticated side of me but I had that at one point when I felt I just wanted to travel and travel around the globe and see the places I read in books.  I wanted to see the snows of Kilimanjaro as seen by Ernest Hemingway and I felt that the only way to do it was if I did not have the responsibility of a mother.

BUT LIFE HAPPENS.

You realize that life doesn't always work the way you planned it and along the way, there’s a lot of changes to those dreams.

Here I am, thirty-plus and still dreaming. I have reached some of these dreams and have forgotten they were once part of those little life plans.  Some dreams molded in the past may no longer happen because other equally wonderful and life-changing events have happened.

Yep, life happens. The key is to recognize the things I cannot change and to just surrender, to release to the universe the fear, anxiety, resentment and anger and to just take in the magic, the wisdom and the love.  

As my child and I would often sing while traveling or just hanging around in the warm little shack we live in, “Que sera, sera (Whatever will be, will be).” 

(Salvador Dali, wikipedia)

The Little School with the Big Heart

Thank you to my Starweek family for publishing this story.

What Gets You Excited?

I stumbled upon the blog of Roxanne Krystalli, a woman with such a gift of soulful words and photographs  and the question she posed made me reflect on my own little dreams and everyday excitement; the passion, the love, the elements that put me in a trance, those little details that make my senses feast. What gets you excited? She asked in her latest blog piece, inspired by words from another amazing writer Akhila Kolisetty's post on what gets her excited. I was led from one writer to another and was driven to list my own stuff, the things that ignite me and move me to the core.

                                 Indonesia. By Iris Cecilia Gonzales


I get excited about travel like Soulshine Traveler Meghan Johnson.
I've traveled to more than twenty countries all over the world and I am still yearning to see more. I will forever be grateful to my mom for encouraging me to grab every good chance to travel and fill my room with dolls from all over the world as she did.

                                 Kazakhstan. By Iris Cecilia Gonzales

"That's my favorite," she would show me the doll from Sicily and would always challenge me to go get one from that famed corner of Italy. I haven't been to Sicily and I didn't get to collect dolls from my trips because there was never enough money.  I'd often tell myself, souvenirs are for those who cannot remember.

For me, I only have to close my eyes to see in my inner mind's eye the places I've been to. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Kazakhstan remains the best place I've seen.

Traveling, for me is not about earning mileage or taking photos for the pretentious Facebook universe to see. It really is a journey of self-awareness, of discovery, of feeling everything that is foreign, of tasting new dishes and seeing things for the first time as Elizabeth Gilbert did in Eat, Pray, Love.

                                 Portugal. By Diana Lungu

 

                                            Portugal. By Iris Cecilia Gonzales

As noted travel writer Pico Iyer said, “We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next to find ourselves. We travel to open our hearts and eyes and learn more about the world than our newspapers will accommodate. We travel to bring what little we can, in our ignorance and knowledge, to those parts of the globe whose riches are differently dispersed. And we travel, in essence, to become young fools again- to slow time down and get taken in."

I get excited about work
Yes, I get really excited about Mondays because I'll be off to work again after taking a Sunday break. I love my job and don't think I'd trade it for just any other work. Journalism is not just about complying with the daily deadlines and covering the usual stuff. And this is what others never understand no matter how much they try. Some reporters live to beat a deadline. To them, news is commodity, like derivatives traded in the market.

To me, journalism is a way of life. It's drinking with sources or having dinners with them for no particular breaking news. It's about cultivating sources for years and years and trading information with them. It's even being friends with them just so you can get to the bottom of things.  It's about getting updated with showbiz news because these are stories that highly powerful and influential people never miss out on.

It's moving beyond the often one-sided stories that PRs and spindoctors dish out to understand the stories better. It's about going with the dirty ways of a beat to understand and be able to penetrate it. It's dealing with crap and getting over it.

I don't salivate over stories just so I have something to submit. What I really, really love about my profession is the ringside view that it gives me. It is the opportunity to record history in a hurry, to see things ordinary citizens will never see and the chance to make these things known to the outside world. I love talking to people especially the brilliant technocrats in government. Brilliance in a world of airheads is rare.

It's not easy and sometimes, I really get exhausted and frustrated. It's an industry of men and women with bloated egos and messianic delusions. It's a Lion's den and is never for the faint of heart but it's where I am truly at home.


I get excited about opportunities to help people
I have no God complex but I believe in maximizing opportunities to help others. I believe in channelling energies to do even the smallest acts of kindness. I believe it is better than just sitting by and watching the world crumble, than just complaining about how f)@cked up the world is or planking to protest the government 's endless follies. I am inspired by people who are genuinely good and altruistic.

                                 Mindanao. By Jes Aznar


I get excited about words
Because I cannot express and articulate my feelings verbally, I am in love with the beauty of words. I am moved by brilliant prose especially by my favorite authors, Truman Capote and Ernest Hemingway and the musings of Anais Nin and the insights from the brilliant gypsies around the world.

                                                 www.musicforchameleons.com


I get excited about being with the people who make me happy
Needless to say, I get excited about being with the people who make me happy. You know who you are and so do you.

                                 Cebu. By Baby Pumatong


What gets you excited?
Thank you again to fellow blogger Roxanne for giving me the idea to do this. I don't know her and she doesn't know me but I fell in love with her blog the first time I saw it. Her writing and her photographs are among the stuff that excite me. Thank you for the inspiration. Keep on writing.

From the Carl Jung Circle Center

THE CARL JUNG CIRCLE CENTER presents a FRIENDS OF JUNG WORKSHOP EXPLORING THE SELF (BASIC JUNG) September 23, 24, 30 and October 1, 2011 The Carl Jung Circle Center is an accredited CPE provider of the Psychological Association of the Philippines (PAP). All seminars, workshops and other CPE activities sponsored by The Carl Jung Circle Center are eligible for CPE points for the PAP. CPE points for this workshop is equal to 20 points. September 23, 2011/Friday 9:30 a.m. – 12:00 noon Jung, the Psyche, and the Individuation Process. Participants get to “meet Carl Jung” through an orientation on his life and his theories on the psyche and its structure. Didactics and discussions underscore the role and importance of the unconscious process. 1:30 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. The Hero’s Journey. The hero’s journey is used as a springboard to introduce participants to Jung’s view of psychological growth, which he called the process of individuation. The Mandala. Participants are introduced to Jung’s favorite way of accessing the unconscious. In the mandala, the unconscious expresses itself in vivid images. September 24, 2011/Saturday 9:30 a.m. – 12:00 noon The Archetypes: Persona and Shadow. The inner world is rich, inhabited by patterns of psychic energy which Jung called archetypes. This session introduces the Persona and the Shadow, the first archetypes encountered in the individuation process. The Archetypes: Anima and Animus. Participants are introduced to one of Jung’s major contributions towards the understanding of the human psyche – the archetypes of Anima, the feminine in the man, and Animus, the masculine in the woman. 1:30 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Archetype of the Feminine. Using a questionnaire based on the work of Jungian analyst Jean Shinoda Bolen, feminine archetypes expressed in life and relationships are explored, discussed and processed. September 30, 2011/Friday 9:30 a.m. – 12:00 noon Archetype of the Masculine. Using a questionnaire based on the work of Jean Shinoda Bolen, masculine archetypes expressed in life and relationships are explored, discussed and processed. 1:30 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. The Puer. An archetype that prevails in Filipino culture is introduced, followed by an interesting discussion of the work of Marie Louise von Franz on the Puer. October 1, 2011/Saturday 9:30 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. The Trickster, Mask Work, and Integration. One gets an understanding of an archetype that is associated with mishaps and challenges in one’s life. The rest of the day is devoted to an active imagination activity to facilitate integration of the four-day workshop. Faculty: Dr. Dido Gustilo-Villasor, Rose Marie Yenko, Sophie Sim-Bate, Bernie Nepomuceno Venue: Salcedo Three, Tordesillas St, Salcedo Village, Makati City Fees: P8, 800.00 (This subsidized fee includes materials and morning snacks but no lunch.) Payment: 50% downpayment by September 16 to Sophie Bate BDO # 006-448-004-961 Contact: Chato at 0917-8317773

(Not Your Ordinary) Grocery Day

Whenever I can, I plunge at the chance to see some of the little girl's many firsts. Today was one of those days. In between screaming deadlines and merciless projects hovering above my shoulders, I accepted her teacher's request to be one of the parent-drivers for the class field trip, her very first. I stole an hour from work, an hour which happened to be the crunch time for the newspaper, to drive them to Rustan's supermarket in Katipunan.

Yes, it was a simple field trip to the grocery but the kids really enjoyed it.  They were such a cute bunch, all revved up with excitement.  On any given day, I would skip the chance to go the grocery. I only do when there's nothing more left in the fridge except the smell of an empty fridge.

But I had a fun time today. Seeing the little girl so happy made the trip all worth the I-might-miss-the-deadline-induced stress. She was so happy to have her mom as one of the parent-drivers. It was also her very first field trip and she could not contain her enthusiasm. I was not able to eat my lunch because the time ticked like a bomb but hearing the little kids' laughter and cheers of excitement was all worth the effort.

Thank you Class 4's and 5's!

(Photos by me except the first one, taken by teacher Christy)

Life Without Television

In a corner of the shack I live in, I have a small flat screen television that is rarely used. A few months ago, I decided to do my child a favor by removing television from her life, our lives. For a Filipino household, I know it's really weird to be doing this. My mother, a television junkie, has repeatedly questioned my decision and has offered to pay for my cable subscription fee. 

This is actually the first time I went without television although I was never a junkie. I enjoyed shows like Nam: Tour of Duty, Falcon Crest and Knots Landing but I was never addicted. In the home of my childhood days, there was a television in every room. And when I moved out of the family home, the housemate I lived with subscribed to not one but two cable service providers when I moved in. Either he loved television that much or he just wanted to make sure there was no dead air. (LOL)

Seriously, I'm really happy to finally get television out of my child's life. And even out of my life. I strongly advice it to parents and to those yearning to get more out of life. My child and I have bonded better without the tv, which in the past became her virtual nanny. It has also spared her from developing a consumer mentality derived largely from the loads of tv commercials. 

It's true what they say, television tends to shift brain activities from beta waves to alpha waves, which results in lower consciousness. 

"On television we see shows, serials and movies that appeal to conscious lowering emotions such as fear, anger and desire rather than to consciousness raising emotions that would lead us to reflect and question things," according an article posted on the Personal Development Blog.

And of course, anybody who wants to have a strong case against television only needs to remember the name: Willie Revillame.

Below is an article discussing the benefits of life without television:

Some Benefits of Life Without Television

(from the wisdomandfolly blog) by Jim and Amy Spiegel

For our entire married life (11 years), Amy and I have not had television (in the sense that we don’t receive channels, though we do watch DVDs and videos).  Occasionally we are asked about our reasons for making this choice, so I thought it would be a good idea to actually compile a list of some of the benefits of TV abstinence.  So here is a list—by no means exhaustive—of some of the major benefits of life without TV.

1. Avoidance of commercials and the fueling of the consumer mentality — It’s all about the sponsors, as we all know.  And to watch a TV show is to be bombarded with constant pitches for products one neither needs nor, properly, desires.  Even the most circumspect person cannot help but be impacted by this.

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2. Better stewardship of time — Amy and I spend much less time watching shows because we only view the DVDs and videos we plan ahead of time to view.  We don’t end up watching shows that we didn’t want to watch (which, strange as it sounds, is a common phenomenon among viewers).  Without TV, relative to my life before, I virtually have a 27-hour day, so I can get more accomplished with family time, reading, and creative projects.

3. Protection of children — Our kids are not exposed to inappropriate images, language, and lifestyle choices which even find their way into “innocent” shows (e.g. foul language, disrespectful attitudes, undermining of authority, the normalization of premarital sex and homosexuality, etc.).  Of course, in our culture it is impossible to perfectly shield one’s kids from some of these influences, but without TV there is a dramatic reduction in this exposure.

4. Avoidance of narcissism, bad ethics, and poor reasoning — Whether it is sitcoms, reality TV shows, or even news programs, the me-first mentality is ubiquitous in television land.  And from what I’ve seen of such shows as Friends and Survivor, the moral-decision making and logical thinking skills are rather suspect.  Let’s just say that, as a Philosophy professor, I always know where to find vivid illustrations of moral vices and logical fallacies.  So thank you for that much, Mr. Television.

5. Enhancement of aesthetic sense — Most television shows are just not very good from an aesthetic standpoint.  A rare exception is The Simpsons, at least in previous seasons which I sometimes watch it via Netflix—so I can’t speak to how strong the show is currently.  But generally speaking, constant exposure to television injures one’s aesthetic sensibility.  Occasionally we hear someone recommend a show to us as “one of the best on television” (e.g. Lost, 24, Arrested Development, etc.).  Invariably, when we take time to check them out, we are disappointed.  To say a show is one of TV’s best is, well, damning with faint praise.

Home

There's no point to any of this. It's all just a... a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know... a Quarter-Pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter become a cackle... and I, I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt. - Troy Dyer, Reality Bites

Life isn't perfect but there are many perfect moments. There are so many things to be thankful for. You know when it's a perfect day.  You feel it in every piece of you. You remember everything. You savor the details and the taste lingers in your mouth, like a shot of single malt whisky. 

Last Monday was one of those days. I went shopping for an electric fan even if the most important person in my beat was giving a speech at the House of Representatives. I didn't mind. It's been an exhausting week before that so for a change, Jes and I just wanted a quiet and perfect time, away from all the chatter and the noise. And what a perfect day we had just bumming around.

Today is another good day. Feeling sick and tired after a frustrating coverage out of town, I slumped into the comfort of my bed. I asked the househelp to prepare soup and a hot cup of calamansi juice. I was feeling so weak but the exhaustion disappeared when my little girl gave me a massage. It's true what they say, your child will love you unconditionally. 

This is the part I like best about being a single mom -- the chores, duties and responsibilities are double but so is the immense joy. She and I -- we're quite a good team. She knows just exactly when to give that hug, that warm embrace or  to ask how things are. 

These are the little things in my life that I would never trade for anything else. In between chasing stories, writing a book, keeping a blog for a London-based publication, traveling around the world for assignments -- his and mine -- I try to be a mom. It's not easy and I've had my outbursts and big sighs of frustration but again and again and again, I try. I try with enough love. 

Such are the details that put meaning in my life. And I take pleasure in each and every detail, like enjoying a kaleidoscope of colors in a giant canvas. There are of course monster days in between the perfect ones because as Troy Dyer said, "life's a random lottery of meaningless tragedy." The key is to treasure the details; to cherish the good ones, to find delight in every sorrow; to be shaken, to learn, to take that leap of faith and to embrace life's uncertainties with enough love. As Tuesdays with Morrie said, "love always wins."


And that after all is what it means to be human.