BATU, Indonesia. Photo by Jes Aznar

Friday, September 16, 2011


There's no point to any of this. It's all just a... a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know... a Quarter-Pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter become a cackle... and I, I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt. - Troy Dyer, Reality Bites

Life isn't perfect but there are many perfect moments. There are so many things to be thankful for. You know when it's a perfect day.  You feel it in every piece of you. You remember everything. You savor the details and the taste lingers in your mouth, like a shot of single malt whisky. 

Last Monday was one of those days. I went shopping for an electric fan even if the most important person in my beat was giving a speech at the House of Representatives. I didn't mind. It's been an exhausting week before that so for a change, Jes and I just wanted a quiet and perfect time, away from all the chatter and the noise. And what a perfect day we had just bumming around.

Today is another good day. Feeling sick and tired after a frustrating coverage out of town, I slumped into the comfort of my bed. I asked the househelp to prepare soup and a hot cup of calamansi juice. I was feeling so weak but the exhaustion disappeared when my little girl gave me a massage. It's true what they say, your child will love you unconditionally. 

This is the part I like best about being a single mom -- the chores, duties and responsibilities are double but so is the immense joy. She and I -- we're quite a good team. She knows just exactly when to give that hug, that warm embrace or  to ask how things are. 

These are the little things in my life that I would never trade for anything else. In between chasing stories, writing a book, keeping a blog for a London-based publication, traveling around the world for assignments -- his and mine -- I try to be a mom. It's not easy and I've had my outbursts and big sighs of frustration but again and again and again, I try. I try with enough love. 

Such are the details that put meaning in my life. And I take pleasure in each and every detail, like enjoying a kaleidoscope of colors in a giant canvas. There are of course monster days in between the perfect ones because as Troy Dyer said, "life's a random lottery of meaningless tragedy." The key is to treasure the details; to cherish the good ones, to find delight in every sorrow; to be shaken, to learn, to take that leap of faith and to embrace life's uncertainties with enough love. As Tuesdays with Morrie said, "love always wins."

And that after all is what it means to be human.